Research On Excuses Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for research on excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Research On Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy beaver, #excuses, #doesnt return calls, #making excuses, #more jobs, #future jobs, #scamming, #both sdies

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Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

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The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tainted research, #skinny people, #bright light, #association of donught makers, #wheel chair, #man in bandages

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"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research

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"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tainted research, #media, #clebrities, #blood, #environmental issues, #humor, #larry david, #hybrid car, #Entertainment

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Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts ad agency, #research, #don't use prodcut, #outdoors, #indoors, #intensive ad campaign, #outdoors for losers, #humming birds, #man in garden, #happiness of gullible people, #science

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Caption: Dogbert's ad agency" Dogbert stands on a table holding a pointer. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "According to my research..." Dogbert says, "...People don't use your products when they are outdoors." Dogbert gestures to The Boss, "Somehow we must keep people indoors." Dogbert flips a page on a display notepad. Dogbert says, "I recommend an intensive ad campaign..." Dogbert continues..."Featuring this slogan..." The pad reads, 'Outdoors is for losers.' Dpgbert says to Alice, Dilbert and The Boss, "The tv spot will show humming-birds attacking a man in his garden." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Wouldn't that destroy the happiness of gullible people?" Dogbert says, "We'll tell them it doesn't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job opening, #research and development, #escape the mismanaged, #futility, #current job, #boss has similar idea

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Dilbert: There's a job opening for an engineer in research and development!" "It's a chance to escape the mismanaged futility of my current job and live the dream!" The Boss: Hey, there's an opening for a new manager of research and development!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

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Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #cubicle workplace, #open floor plan, #research, #pattern, #randomize evil, #science

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Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!