Risk Analysis Comic Strips - Page 4

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125 Results for Risk Analysis

View 31 - 40 results for risk analysis comic strips. Discover the best "Risk Analysis" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #gap analysis, #honest, #two pointy hairs, #for department

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The Boss tells Wally: "I want you to perform a Gap Analysis for our department." He continues: "Be completely honest." Later, Wally reports: "The Gap is located between two pointy tufts of hair that move about the office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #handwriting analysis, #disturbed loner, #steals, #liberal, #absolutely necessary

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Headline: Handwriting Analysis. Dogbert is sitting across from a male employee. Dogbert reports, "Your handwriting proves that you're a disturbed loner who steals." The employee, looking confused, asks, "What?'' Dogbert stands and exclaims, "Take this thief away!" Two police officers accost the employee from behind. The employee is tied in ropes to a wood pole. The Boss asks Dogbert, "Is this part absolutely necessary?" Dogbert thinks to himself, "Liberal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair

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"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #360 review, #evil, #judged, #lazy, #manipulative, #no risk, #quality of work, #retribution

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"It's called a 360 degree review. You get to evaluate me at no risk of retribution." "No matter what you say about me, you will only be judged on the quality of your work." "Sometimes you are lazy, evil and manipulative." "The quality of your work just went way down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #highly prodcutive, #useless guy, #employee abseteeism, #stats, #analysis, #disk storage, #science

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The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #statistical analysis, #efforts and rewards, #sea of randomness, #devoid of purpose, #lactation

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Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #slow computer, #uogarde, #cost benefit analysis, #vice president approval

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Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #major corproation, #dream, #risk taker, #achieves goal

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Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "Ratbert, would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "That had always been my dream...until I found this extension cord to gnaw on. Now I'm committed to seeing it through." "He's a risk taker who won't stop until h achieves his goal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #idea, #suggestion, #complaining, #Advice, #greed, #science

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Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #projects, #complete projects, #calculated risk, #tasks, #lateness irrelevant, #worst week, #business

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"And Wally, did you finish your project tasks for today?" Wally: "No. I took a calculated risk that other people would not finish their tasks either, making my lateness totally irrelevant." "Um..." "That is the worst..." "I need another week."