Run Marathon Comic Strips - Page 4

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161 Results for Run Marathon

View 31 - 40 results for run marathon comic strips. Discover the best "Run Marathon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #values, #don't run with scissors, #ask for raises, #employee values, #business

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CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast

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Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #14%, #projector screen, #label, #ceo, #dry run

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Dilbert says, "I based my estimate on the reliable input of people who just wanted me to leave them alone." Dilbert says, "I decided against labeling it because I'll probably need some deniability later." Dilbert says, "Are we done with the dry run, or do you want me to use up all of my energy before our CEO gets here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #meetings, #optimism, #vice presdient, #unoccupied room, #cell phone, #finish soon, #nap in cubilce, #get work done, #run errands, #optimism like disappointement, #technology

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The Boss says, "Our meeting room is being used by a vice president." The Boss says, "I need all of you to search for an unoccupied room. Call my cell when you find one." The Boss says, "I'll stay here in case they finish soon." Dilbert says, "Where are you going to look?" Wally says, "I'm going to take a nap in my cubicle and hope the problem takes care of itself." Dilbert says, "Good idea. I'll go get some work done." Alice says, "Perfect time to run some errands." The Boss says, "Optimism is a lot like disappointment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #run by attorney, #hi with hammer, #attention, #painful process, #final result, #hammer is quicker

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The Boss: "Run this by our attorney." Dilbert: "May I vigorously hit myself with a hammer instead?" The Boss: "You have my attention." Dilbert: "Either way, it's a painful process that won't change the final result." "But the hammer is quicker and it will still make you feel as if you made me do something." The Boss: "Okay. Try the hammer thing." BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" "Now run it by our attorney so it feels as if I did two things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #fly on plane, #guidelines, #key employees, #ceo, #presdient, #same flight, #interns, #run with sciccors, #plastic bags, #over heads

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #money, #trees, #computer model, #genetically modify, #tree growth, #rare earth minerals, #run a trail, #money dents grow on trees, #fault

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Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #doctors' offices, #medicines, #whiny idiots, #pill, #doctor, #exam room, #office, #treadmill, #pass out, #medical

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Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?