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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never answered email, #secretary out, #message on hardcopy, #out of paprus, #chiseled on pyramid, #ufos?

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Dilbert peers out of his cubicle and says to the Boss as he walks by, "You never answered my e-mail." The Boss says, "My secretary is out, so there's nobody to print my e-mail for me. Bring me your message on hardcopy." Dilbert enters the Boss's office holding a small pyramid and says, "I was out of papyrus so I chiseled my message on a little pyramid." The Boss thinks, "Did he work alone or were UFOs involved?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hire temp, #apply for job, #ratbert, #all of the respect, #unconditional love, #office and secretary

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert stands on the desk. Dilbert says, "We're planning to hire a temp at work. You should apply for the job, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Wow! Me? A temp?!" Ratbert continues, "As a temp I would finally get all of the respect and unconditional love that I deserve!!" Dilbert thinks, "Danger: sharp learning curve ahead." Ratbert says, "I assume I'll get an office and a secretary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert treks tna, #tech writer, #technical writing, #word processing, #highly skilled, #communications professional, #inert thoughts, #staff meeting, #org chart, #secretary meeting

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Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #epiphany, #lowest pais, #job title, #seniorassoicate, #clerical, #mistaken

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Dilbert stands behind a woman who is sitting at a desk. She says, "Wait-a-minute . . . I'm starting to realize something." The woman continues, "My job title is senior associate, yet I spend my time doing clerical work . . . And unless I'm mistaken, I'm the lowest paid employee." Dilbert asks, "Is this a bad time?" The woman ignores him and screams, "Aaagh!! I'm a secretary!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ted, #carol, #message, #manager, #secretary, #copies, #sting, #desire

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Ted: May I slip in? I only need one copy. Carol: What's the message here? Is your time worth more than my time because you're a manager and I'm a secretary? Huh? This might sting for a second, but it'll remove your desire to make copies.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #carol, #the boss, #secretary, #crossbow, #hunt, #moby dick, #harpooned, #capsized, #desk

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Carol: The "secretary with a crossbow" goes on the hunt. Moby dick! Dilbert: You've been harpooned again, sir. The Boss: yeah, but I capsized her desk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #brian, #work for comapny, #job interview, #practice interview, #done here, #lunch time, #don't see sandwhiches

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Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #need secreatry, #six months now ork, #too busy, #secretary needs secreatry

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Carol, the Boss's secretary, tells him, "I need my own secretary. I'm too busy to help you unless I get some support." The Boss replies, "Too busy? You haven't done any work for me in six months." Carol says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOU?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #haven't submitted paperwork, #raise, #show up, #talk to boss, #too busy, #secretary needs secretary

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Dilbert asks the Boss's secretary, "Carol, do you know why my raise hasn't showed up in my pay yet?" Carol replies, "I haven't submitted the paperwork." Carol says, "I'm too busy to do it. Maybe you should talk to my boss about getting me a secretary." Dilbert says, "Carol, YOU are the secretary." Carol replies, "That'll cost you another month."