Search Results for "security gurad"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
31 - 40 of 112

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2001's comic on:

Tags #all night, #comp day, #security video, #pile of debris, #cucbicle, #conversation, #jumping all over

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally enters and says, "I was here all night. Is it okay if I take tomorrow as a comp day?" The Boss replies, "According to our security video, you slept all night on a pile of debris in your cubicle." Wally replies, "Is it just me or is this conversation jumping all over the place?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2001's comic on:

Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2002's comic on:

Tags #elbonia, #oversee construction, #nuclear power plant, #first order, #uranium, #director of security

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I'm here to oversee the construction of the nuclear power plant." Dilbert continues, "The first order of business is security for the uranium." An Elbonian responds, "A pig ate it." Dilbert exclaims, "What?! I demand to see your director of security!" The Elbonian answers, "You'll have to wait; the pig ate him too."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2002's comic on:

Tags #reservation, #computers are cardboard, #props, #furniture store, #security prurposes, #frisk me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the airport. The Elbonian at the ticket counter of Elbonia Air says, "I don't see your reservation." The Elbonian continues, "Maybe it's because all of our computers are cardboard props that we stole from a furniture store." The Elbonian holds gloves out towards Dilbert and says, "For security purposes, would you care to frisk me?" Dilbert responds, "Yes."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2002's comic on:

Tags #bio metric, #security system, #checks pulse, #heat, #fingerprints, #Wally, #indentify

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces an employee, "Bob will demonstrate our new biometric security system." Bob motions towards the machine and says, "The system checks for pulse, heat and fingerprints to identify each employee." Wally puts his hand on the machine and says, "It says I don't have any of those things." Bob replies, "Are you the one they call Wally?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2004's comic on:

Tags #airport security, #epidural layer, #plastic bag, #federal crime, #airport tsa, #hassle, #terrorists, #airlines, #bins, #line, #xrays

View Transcript

Transcript

Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2005's comic on:

Tags #phishing, #new hobby, #fake banking emails, #gullible executives, #financial information, #steal, #password social security card

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2006's comic on:

Tags #security software, #upgrade it, #hackers, #steal identity, #bank accounts, #destroy hard drive, #cjoices

View Transcript

Transcript

DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2008's comic on:

Tags #sensitive material, #interoffice, #topsecret, #moron, #security department, #slap hard, #run fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2008's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #thrown out window, #press charges, #security, #gunning for job, #hire for yacht, #policeman

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."