Sending Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for sending comic strips. Discover the best "Sending" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive body guard class, #pounce, #kidnapper, #sacrifice yourself, #inside help, #reimburse

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The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, I'm sending you to an executive bodyguard class." The Boss continues, "You'll learn how to pounce on a kidnapper and sacrifice yourself to keep me safe." Carol responds, "I'm taking a class called, 'inside help.'" The Boss says, "I can't reimburse for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #meeting, #no limo servoce, #cheapest way, #brownies barrel service, #business

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Dilbert is still in a barrel. The Boss says to him, "I'm sending you to Elbonia for a meeting, but we're on a tight budget." The Boss, also in a barrel, continues, "So there will be no limo service to the airport. Go there in the cheapest way possible." A bear rolls Dilbert in his barrel down the highway. The bear says, "And then I started Brownie's Barrel Service." Dilbert thinks, "He's a talker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #cubicle, #grim reeper, #layoffs, #stranger, #business

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Human Resources is sending a designated firer to do layoffs." The Boss turns quickly and waves his hands in an employee's face. The Boss says, "If a stranger approaches your cubicle, it means you're toast!" The employee exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" A hooded weasel with a knife approaches Carol. He says, "Hell-o-o-o, Carol." He pauses and then continues, "Can you tell me where Ted sits?" Carol exclaims, "Gaaa!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #down to 40 cups, #won't survive, #lucky, #coffe rehab

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Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you to a coffee rehab program." Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" Catbert says, "They'll get you down to forty cups a day." Wally exclaims, "Not double digits!!!" Wally is escorted out. He yells, "You monster!!! I won't survive!!!" Catbert says, "If you're lucky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

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Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma

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The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

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The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #daughter sneezed, #work from home, #answer boss phone, #phone messages aren't real, #bitung humor

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Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addicted to email, #endorphins spike, #loneliness and despair, #email to self

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"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers

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"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."