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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my new poem?" Dogbert replies, "I once read that given infinite time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare." Dilbert asks, "But what about MY poem?" Dogbert replies, "Three monkeys, ten minutes."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert reads the newspaper and asks, "What do you think about this new Soviet policy of openness?" Dogbert replies, "Actually, I'm not even sure that Gorbachev exists." Dogbert continues, "Guess I'm just kinda 'glasnostic.'" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't let you drink coffee."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dilbert writes, "Single, dumpy and dull male seeks young and beautiful woman for romance." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The key to writing a successful 'personals' ad is honesty . . . Complete and total honesty." Dogbert asks, "What species are you targeting?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing Scrabble. As Dogbert arranges his letters on the game board, Dilbert asks, "What the heck is 'jequirity?'" Dogbert replies, "You know - the poisonous, red and black seed of the Indian Licorice plant. Want to challenge?" Dilbert replies, "No. At least this one has vowels." Dogbert says, "That's 704 for me."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "If I stay with my company for ten years, I get a watch and lunch with my boss." Dogbert asks, "What do you get for twenty years?" Dilbert replies, "Lunch without my boss."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on pillows on the floor. Dilbert says, "I asked Debbie for a date, but she said she was feeling antisocial tonight." Dilbert continues, "Then I asked Laura, but she said she was feeling antisocial, too . . . So Debbie and Laura decided to go to the movies with each other." Dogbert says, "Those antisocial people always seem to hang out together." Dilbert says, "Yeah . . ."
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table listening to a tape player. Dilbert says, "I do NOT snore, and I do NOT believe you made this recording of me last night." Animal-like sounds come from the tape player. Dilbert looks at a cassette box and says, "In fact, this tape box says 'National Geographic's Songs of the Whale.'" Dogbert says, "So, you admit that even National Geographic can't tell the difference between your snoring and a twenty-ton kelp-scarfing mammal."
The caption says, "Dilbert demonstrates the art of joke telling." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on chairs across from each other. Dilbert says, ". . . So the first guy orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "A good joke teller will seek to establish a pattern." Dilbert continues, ". . . Then the second guy . . . Heh, heh . . . Orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "Tomorrow's lesson: timing." Dilbert continues, ". . . So then the seventy-third guy comes in . . ." Dogbert is asleep.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dogbert says, "If a man eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Would they cancel each other out, leaving the man still hungry?" Dilbert says, "I can't imagine Socrates and Plato debating that question." Dogbert asks, "Too hard, huh?"