Suck Good Will Comic Strips - Page 4
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1000 Results for Suck Good Will
View 31 - 40 results for suck good will comic strips. Discover the best "Suck Good Will" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 07,
2013
Tags #obliviousness, #work ethic, #lawyer, #60 page contract, #amendements, #900 contracts, #tax law, #17 managers, #good leaders, #standards, #legal
Transcript
Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 28,
2013
Tags #engineer, #google, #evolved, #pure energy, #apathy, #in cop, #coffee, #desk, #engineering
Transcript
Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.
Wednesday February 04,
2015
Free Will Is An Illusion
Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Saturday October 24,
2015
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency
Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.
Saturday March 12,
2016
Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator
Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist
Transcript
Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.
Thursday September 15,
2016
Tina's Soul Will Live On
Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul
Transcript
Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.
Monday April 03,
2017
Alice Dates Robot
Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #business
Transcript
Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.
Tuesday June 23,
2020
How To Identify Good Ideas
Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational
Transcript
dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.
Saturday July 11,
2020
First Time For Everything
Tags #amazing, #business, #business plan, #concept, #first time, #good, #managers & supervisors, #new, #pandemic, #face mask, #covid
Transcript
boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.