Teach Cobol Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

99 Results for Teach Cobol

View 31 - 40 results for teach cobol comic strips. Discover the best "Teach Cobol" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert's Insult Consulting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Insult Consulting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company rules, #insulting, #co workers, #teach how, #insult, #within guidelines, #standing desk, #meeting, #employer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.

Insulting Within Company Guidelines

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Insulting Within Company Guidelines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers

View Transcript

Transcript

DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...

Teach Employees To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teach Employees To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #computers, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #golf, #management consultant, #initate, #golf tournament, #profits, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #joke, #carnivore, #robert, #cramp, #tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur points to Dilbert and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You heard me, Robert. Eat him right this minute!" Bob says, "But . . . but." Dawn crosses her arms and says, "You call yourself a carnivore? Well, at least smite him with your mighty tail!" Bob looks sheepish. Dawn says to Dilbert, "And THIS will teach you not to mess with dinosaurs!" Bob rubs his tail and says, "Cramp . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #weapons, #tv guides, #falcon crest, #sex education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and says, "Okay, class . . . Put your weapons away and open your TV Guides." Dogbert continues, "Timmy, please read aloud the passage from 'Falcon Crest' under the Friday listings." Dogbert thinks, "There's got to be a better way to teach sex education."