Tell Everyone Comic Strips - Page 4

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884 Results for Tell Everyone

View 31 - 40 results for tell everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #staff meetings, #late for meetings, #ten minutes, #stupid stuff, #fine work, #noticing

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spend it, #can't tell budget, #whats company strategy

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A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #hate everyone, #entire world, #weasels, #wide eyed, #innocent child, #unconditionally, #tiny wesels

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Today I realized I hate everyone in the entire world." Dilbert continues, "I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too." Dogbert asks, "How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?" Dilbert responds, "Tiny weasels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #reducing inventory, #sell to cutomers, #feel free, #tell board, #idea

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The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #blame insurance carrier, #give reason, #master plan, #parking lot, #reason, #remove all joy, #tell kids, #universe, #no skateboarding

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The Boss and Carol are looking out the window at the parking lot below. The Boss says, "Carol, tell those kids they can't skateboard in our parking lot." Carol responds, "Should I give them a reason, or is this part of your master plan to remove all joy from the universe?" Catbert is standing by a globe. The Boss says, "They know about the plan." Catbert responds, "Fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

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The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #worthless fat, #everyone participates

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "How can we eliminate $200,000 of worthless fat?" The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Every hand went up. I like it when everyone participates!" The Boss is sitting at his desk. He says to Catbert, "So it turns out that it's better when no one participates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fooglepoopillion, #embarrased, #tell the truth, #best policy, #honesty, #what you say

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Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "My company lost a frooglepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work." Dogbert responds, "Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself." Dilbert asks, "Because honesty is the best policy?" Dogbert replies, "Because no one pays any attention to what you say."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #porject, #top prioroty, #tell everything, #bored, #can't stay awake, #haven't talked yet, #gets worse

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The Boss: Your project is my top priority. Tell me everything that I need to know. In so bored...cant...stay...awake. Dilbert: I haven't started talking yet. The Boss: Int gets worse??! Dilbert: oo okay