To Dumb Comic Strips - Page 4
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181 Results for To Dumb
View 31 - 40 results for to dumb comic strips. Discover the best "To Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 17,
1999
Tags #dumb boss, #tape measure, #postage on email, #my boss is so dumb
Transcript
Ted, Dilbert and Carol sit at a conference table. Ted says, "My boss is so dumb, He brought a tape measure to a distance learning class." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Carol says, "My boss is so dumb..." Carol says, "He puts postage stamps on his e-mail. Now he can't see his pc screen." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Ted says to Dilbert, "How about you, Dilbert? Do you have any dumb boss jokes?" The Boss enters the conference room. The Boss says, "Dilbert, my pc is warm. I think our fire wall is acting up." Ted pats Dilbert on the back and says, "We're sorry." Carol says, "We didn't know."
Saturday August 25,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #fake 50%, #dumb customers, #smart shoppers, #$400 per hour, #freaking genius
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.
Saturday September 15,
2012
Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.
Tuesday July 29,
2008
Tags #jury selection, #big eyebrows, #dumb as you look, #manipulate, #love, #relationships
Transcript
Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."
Wednesday January 13,
2010
Tags #customers, #product design, #dumb, #hat, #monkey, #software, #meeting, #computer, #annoyed, #technology, #animals, #business, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to get our customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."
Thursday March 04,
2010
Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."
Thursday September 16,
2010
Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology
Transcript
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."
Sunday January 17,
2010
Tags #meeting, #wdg, #worthless dumb guy, #banana, #project, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "And Russell will act as the WDG for our project." Asok says, "WDG?" Alice says, "Worthless dumb guy. Every project has one." Dilbert says, "In a different context, Russell might seem totally competent." Dilbert says, "But in any small group, the dumbest person always seems extra worthless." Dilbert says, "Everyone else on the project is brilliant. That makes Ruseell seem like a chimp." Alice says, "It's helpful to identify the WDG so we can discourage him from trying to contribute." Asok says, "Does it hurt his feelings?" Russell says, "Me want banana!" Alice says, "It's hard to know."
Sunday November 28,
2010
Tags #meeting, #pep talk, #ceo, #angry, #silent, #worry, #front, #motivation, #dumb, #hate, #bosses, #business
Transcript
The CEO pep talk CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Dilbert says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month." The Boss says, "Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts." The Boss says, "The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." CEO says, "Tell them I hate their guts." The Boss says, "I did that in the pre-meeting."
Saturday October 19,
2013
Tags #complaining, #conversation, #dumb people, #ignorance (knowledge), #project taking long
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?