Top Perfromers Comic Strips - Page 4
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159 Results for Top Perfromers
View 31 - 40 results for top perfromers comic strips. Discover the best "Top Perfromers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 31,
2013
Tags #frustration, #questioning, #navigation button, #top of page, #idea people, #difficult, #people not answering
Transcript
Dilbert: Would it be better with the navigation button at the top of the page? Coworker: I can make that change. Dilbert: I know you can make the change. I'm asking if you agree it would be a good idea. Coworker: It's no problem to move buttons. Dilbert: But is it a good idea? Coworker: I can have it done in ten minutes. Dilbert: But should we do it at all? Coworker: Whatever you want. Dilbert: That is not an answer! Forget it! I'm going to tell your boss you're difficult to work with. Asok: When will you move the button. Coworker: As soon as it's my idea.
Sunday March 21,
2004
Tags #market budget, #horse purchase, #top thoroughbread, #broke leg, #starting gate, #shot horse, #sponger sailboat, #lunch, #roast beef sandwhich, #piece of lead
Transcript
"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."
Sunday March 28,
2004
Tags #fiduciary responsibilty, #maximize shareholder value, #quality, #safety, #top priority, #obeying law
Transcript
"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"
Sunday April 28,
2002
Tags #meeting with favorites, #management perspective, #top priority, #price, #service, #circles are round, #flew in, #ate up time, #stole a day, #revenge
Transcript
The Boss walks into a meeting and says, "Hey, it's a meeting with our favorite customers!" The Boss continues, "It's lucky I was passing by." The Boss continues, "I don't know what this meeting is about but I'm sure it needs some management perspective." The Boss continues, "Our top priority is quality. Our other top priority is price.. and service.. and ..." Headline: One Hour Later. The Boss concludes, "And that's why circles are round." The customer looks at her watch and says, "We flew here for this meeting and you used up all of our time saying nothing." The customer stands up and exclaims, "You stole a day of my life! I will hunt you to the end of time! Revenge will be mine!" The Boss and Dilbert are alone in the conference room. The Boss says, "Is it just me or is that phrase starting to be overused?"
Sunday November 05,
2000
Tags #an olympic gold medal, #apply own job, #emailed jokes, #fired, #posthumous medal, #reclassification of job, #requires phd, #synchronized swimming 1992, #top ten signs
Transcript
Ted asks, "Am I fired?" The Boss, sitting at his desk, answers, "Of course not, Ted. I enjoy e-mailed jokes as much as anyone." Ted smiles as The Boss says, "I'm still laughing about your 'Top Ten Signs That Your Boss Is a Hairless Rodent'." The Boss says, "I asked you here to discuss the reclassification of your job." The Boss says, "Starting today, the job requires a Ph.D. Feel free to apply for your own job." Ted says, "Whew! Luckily, I have a Ph.D." The Boss says, "You do? Well, the job also requires an Olympic Gold Medal." Holding up the medal around his neck, Ted says, "Synchronized Swimming, 1992." The Boss says, "And a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor."
Sunday December 17,
2000
Tags #attending meetings, #busy, #funding, #get funding, #need a budget, #past year, #top priority, #one task
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Everything is ready. We just need the budget." Dilbert says to The Boss, "You did get the funding... Didn't you?" The Boss says, "I've been very busy." Dilbert says to The Boss, "This project has been your top priority for over a year!!!" Dilbert says to The Boss, "You only had one task: get funding." Dilbert asks The Boss, "What have you been doing for the past year?! The Boss says, "I remember attending meetings..." Dilbert, holding his head in his hands, cries, "Aay iii yiii yiii!!" The Boss says, "If you need anything, just holler."
Saturday September 14,
2013
Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard
Transcript
NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.
Friday July 08,
2011
Tags #deterioration, #recessions, #20%, #competitive, #industry, #involve crime
Transcript
Boss: Our goal is to grow the top line by 20%. Dilbert: How will we do that with products that aren't competitive in an industry that isn't growing? Wally: Does it involve crime? Dilbert: If it does, blink once.
Tuesday January 30,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wasting, #madonna, #sun tan, #lotion, #applicator, #barbie
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."
Monday February 26,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #uncle phil, #hang glided, #tree, #hang gliding
Transcript
Dilbert shows Dogbert a photo album and says, "This is Uncle Phil before he died hang gliding." Dogbert asks, "Did he hit a tree?" Dilbert replies, "Let's just say he didn't read the hang glider manual very carefully." Uncle Phil stands on top of a hang glider with a noose around his neck. The other end of the rope is attached to a tree. He thinks, "I wonder if there's another reason it's called hang gliding. Nah . . ."