Touch Negotiator Comic Strips - Page 4

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59 Results for Touch Negotiator

View 31 - 40 results for touch negotiator comic strips. Discover the best "Touch Negotiator" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tennis, #racket, #interested, #colorful, #all-plastic, #titanium, #alloy

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Dogbert stands in front of a store with a sign that says, "Tennis rackets on sale." Dogbert tells the salesclerk, "I'm looking for a new racket." The clerk says, "You're probably interested in our colorful all-plastic rackets for pathetic beginners." Dogbert replies, "No, actually I'm interested in the titanium alloy Deathstick 3000." The salesperson laughs and says, "Ha ha! As if a dumpy little pooch could handle that kind of power on the court!" The salesman hands Dogbert a racket and says, "Here . . . You can touch it, but I'm only humoring you." The salesclerk crashes through the wall. Dogbert holds the racket and says, "This is the perfect racket for those who don't take losing gracefully."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #beef eating, #just stress, #mandatory cpr, #middle aged men, #training for emplyees, #pear shaped

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Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #points at screen, #oily finger, #clean screen, #hover finger, #losing aura of infalliability

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The Boss points to the screen and tells Tina the Tech Writer while she is behind her computer: "Tina, move that title..." He continues: "...over here." Tina screams: "Aaaagh!!" She exclaims: "Your finger oil is on my screen!!!" She says: "Now I have to spend ten minutes cleaning it..." She continues: "...because you don't understand how to hover your finger." She demonstrates for the Boss: "See?! This isn't hard. You hover the finger! Don't touch!" The Boss thinks as he is walking away: "I hope I'm not losing my aura of infallibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #headphones, #britney spears, #slap him, #singing, #outloud

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Wally is listening to his headphones in his cubicle and sings aloud, "Oops, I did it again.." Wally gets up and dances. He thinks, "With headphones I sound exactly like Britney Spears." Alice and Dilbert lean over the cubicle wall and watch Dilbert dancing. Alice says, "I'd slap him but I don't want to touch him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pantless prima donna, #smithsonian, #framed, #the louvre

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Pantless prima donna I demand an assistant to document my miracles. That which I touch will be tagged for the smith Usonian, That which I create will be framed for the louver. Asok: really? and exciting assignment? what is it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #demand raise, #doest care, #promises, #over promised, #free work, #suberb negiator

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Asok: I demand a raise or else I will quit today. the Boss: Goodbye. Asok: Noooo!!! please let me stay! I'll work every weekend for free!!! The boss: Okay. Dilbert: were you correct that your superior intelligence makes you a superb negotiator? Asok: Please shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #screen saver, #modified, #seconds of inactivity, #head bobbing bird

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"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology. I have modified your screensaver security to lock up after two seconds of inactivity." "Ha ha! Unless you touch the keyboard every two seconds you will be forced to log-in again!" "Dang you perpetually moving head-bobbing bird! Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #my hat, #can't see, #perfect for job, #reverse psychology, #potentail jumpers

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"I understand that you have an opening for a negotiator who deals with potential jumpers." "I can't see you because my hat is in the way, but you sound perfect for the job." "Your reverse psychology didn't work." "What reverse psychology?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #police action, #neotaiotor, #evaluation form, #surrender

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Police Negotiator "SURRENDER NOW AND YOU WON'T GET HURT!!!" "Here he comes." BAM BAM BAM "I'll leave an evaluation form. Please let us know how we're doing." "Done deal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #seat, #airplane, #cannibal, #sits next to, #hairy skull, #touch, #taunts

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FISH & AMMO "Why do I always get the seat next to the cannibal?" "These guys are all the same. I know what's going to happen next." "My hairy skull isn't touching you." "Right on schedule."