Tried Door Knob Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for tried door knob comic strips. Discover the best "Tried Door Knob" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #closes door, #hobby, #hurting boss, #leaves office

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Wally: "Every time our pointy haired boss leaves his office, I sneak in and seal an air hole." "I'm trying to see if he'll suffocate when he closes his door." "I've never had a hobby before. I can see why people like them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help alice, #tried working harder, #become dependant

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Wally, I want you to go help Alice on her project." "Have you tried working harder? Sometimes thta works." "I hope she doesn't become dependent on my help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

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Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

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Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

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Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security card, #appreciate, #front pocket, #thrust at door sensor, #door opener

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CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #ruining happiness, #complain, #morale inspiring, #body language, #protective bubble, #stressed out scowl, #stop by, #insincere

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The Boss tells Catbert, "My open door policy is ruining my happiness." The Boss continues, "People stop by all day long and complain." The Boss asks, "How can I maintain the morale-inspiring illusion of an open door policy without actually having one?" Catbert responds, "Use your body language to create a protective bubble of unwelcomness." Catbert clenches his teeth and makes a hostile face. He says, "Try this stressed- out scowl." Dilbert asks Carol, "Can I poke my head in?" Carol responds, "Sure. He has an open door policy." Dilbert enters to find both The Boss and Catbert with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "It's a pleasure to see you." Catbert says, "We value your input." Dilbert runs away exclaiming, "Ay-yi-yi-yi!!" The Boss and Catbert poke their heads around the corner, still with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "Stop by any time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behind the door, #busy aisel, #counsel, #counseling, #cubicle, #jittery, #jumpy, #looking over shoulder, #most instinct, #near doorway, #realx, #zombie

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The Boss brings an employee into Catbert. The employee is bug-eyed and nervous looking. The Boss says, "This is Jittery Jeff. He needs counseling." The Boss continues as Jittery Jeff whips his head around, "I put him in a cubicle at the end of a busy aisle near a doorway." The Boss tells Catbert, "Now he's jittery because he thinks people are always looking over his shoulder." Catbert stands on the desk and says, "Leave him here. I'll counsel him up." Jittery Jeff sits down but continues to whip his head around. Catbert says, "Relax Jittery Jeff...It's okay now." Jeff begins to calm down as Catbert repeats, "Relax, relax, relax, relax." Suddenly, Catbert screams, "AAAGH!! Someone is behind the door!!" Jittery Jeff jumps up. Jittery Jeff lays slumped in his chair with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Catbert tells the Boss, "Counseling is mostly instinct."

Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #trying, #trial and error, #criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.