Trust And Respect Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

149 Results for Trust And Respect

View 31 - 40 results for trust and respect comic strips. Discover the best "Trust And Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vast wisdom, #evil sadistic, #obstructionists, #trust no one, #except the lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, may I tap into your vast wisdom?" Wally turns and answers, "Okay, but make sure you pull out before your head explodes." Asok says, "I've noticed that many employees are evil, sadistic obstructionists." Asok continues, "Do all the nuts work HERE by some strange coincidence?" Asok continues, "Or are most employees evil?" Wally says, "Don't focus on the evil, Asok." Wally says, "Focus on the few employees who seem good." Wally continues, holding up his hand, "THEY'RE the ones who will stab you when you're sleeping! Trust no one but the lazy!" Asok runs out of the cubicle yelling, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally calls after him, "I warned you to pull out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #strategic plan, #secret, #trust, #soabotage, #warranty, #chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan." Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?" The boss says, "It's a secret." Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?" The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees." Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it." The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!" Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair." The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation fairy, #work hard, #gain respect, #peers, #avoid stress, #out live peers, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trust, #integrity, #teamwork, #warm glow, #unconditional love, #heating vent, #under vent

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, at a confence table, says, "Our company values are trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally says, "For the first time in my life I feel the warm glow of unconditional love!" Dilbert, pointing up, says, "You're under a heating vent." Wally says, "Oh...well, that's good too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company's core values, #trust, #integrity, #team work, #borrow a chair, #selling on ebay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok thinks to himself, "I must keep in mind our company's core values of trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally enters Asok's cubicle and says, "May I borrow your chair?" Asok says, "Okay" Wally is at the computer as Dilbert approaches and asks, "What are you selling on E-Bay?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hating supervisor, #men are oblvious, #i quit, #vials, #storage room, #self respect, #no fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #scheduled, #secretary, #moron, #doesn't respect, #stuck in traffic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol and asks, "Carol, where's my ten o'clock?" Carol responds, "He said he'd be late because you're a moron and he doesn't respect you." The Boss' appointment comes in and asks Carol, "Did you tell him I was stuck in traffic?" Carol responds, "It's not always about you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accidentally eat, #apple core, #care values, #customer service, #respect, #stem is loyalty, #teamwork, #apple product

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."