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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

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Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

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Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils

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Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #inventions, #google, #develop ideas, #60 hours, #per week, #math, #education

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Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #brag, #contributions, #ego, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #meeting, #business

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Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #too big to fail, #two pigs, #flail, #clever, #demoralizing

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Boss: Are we too big to fail? CEO: Nope. We're more like two pigs that flail. Boss: That's clever, and yet demoralizing. CEO: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #editors, #writing, #pointless, #confusing, #technical writer, #highly trained, #trick question, #paragraph two

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Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #two-bean, #salad, #smothered, #island, #dressing, #bench

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a bench. Dilbert says, "I was so poor that all I could afford to eat was two-bean salad." Dogbert replies, "Sounds awful . . ." Dilbert says, "It wasn't that bad . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Of course, I always smothered it with hundred island dressing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #pillow, #servants, #dog, #hours, #Dilbert, #prison

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Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "When I conquer the earth . . . Will it be more efficient to put all humans in prison . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, ". . . Or train them as domestic servants for dogs?" Dilbert watches Dogbert from the doorway and thinks, "It's amazing how dogs can sit for hours thinking absolutely nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #women's, #power, #organization, #two, #billion, #Dilbert

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Dilbert opens his door to two women. One woman says, "Hi, we're with the 'Women's Power Organization.' Do you have a moment?" The woman hits Dilbert in the stomach and his glasses fly off his face. Dilbert lies in the doorway. As they walk away one woman asks, "How many are left?" The other woman replies, "Two billion."