Unnecessary Warranty Extenstion Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

47 Results for Unnecessary Warranty Extenstion

View 31 - 40 results for unnecessary warranty extenstion comic strips. Discover the best "Unnecessary Warranty Extenstion" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #special chromosome, #assignments, #waste of time, #sweet smell, #men more perceptive

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice walks away from Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I don't believe men have a special chromosome to tell them which assignments are a waste of time." Dilbert leans out of his cubicle and says, "We do." Alice approaches Asok and thinks, "I will test the theory on young Asok the intern." Asok looks at the documents Alice is holding and says, "Mmm . . . The sweet smell of unnecessary work." Alice thinks, "Maybe men are more perceptive than you'd think." Asok thinks, "She's aroused. I'll make my move."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hospital, #doctor, #computer, #bed, #flu

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. He asks, "Is it the flu?" The doctor looks at a chart and says, "Hmm . . ." The doctor says, "I had the computer run an economic report on the market value of your organs." The doctor continues, "I could make thousands of dollars by selling your parts for transplants." The doctor continues, "Of course, this is all moot unless you die in my office while under my care." The doctor says, "But if I let you die from the flu then my malpractice insurance will go up again." The doctor continues, "But if you live I can continue to bill you for unnecessary tests." The doctor continues, "There's a slight economic advantage to keeping you alive . . . If you leave three pints of blood and do me a little favor." Back at home, Dilbert lies face down on the bed. He tells Dogbert, "Then I had to wax his Jeep with my clothes." Dogbert replies, "Apparently he didn't know what kind of fabrics you wear."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #vast tagalongs, #prodcut, #didn't bring guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Meeting the Vendor Vendor: Im Larry And these people are my vast array of unnecessary tag alongs, Dilbert: What does your product do? Larry: We didn't bring the guy who knows that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #first week, #never do work, #non work, #tasks, #thinking, #wally period, #wally week, #want week

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cruel invention, #disposible, #evil, #fossil fuel, #lackey, #life, #no prupose, #no purpose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #unnesccesry cahnges, #irrelevant document, #while and dance, #working, #be happy too

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I made a few suggestions. Dilbert: I'll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document. The Boss: Stop acting happy. Dilbert: Can I whistle and dance while I work?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bans cofee, #cubicles, #distarction, #mess up desks, #alice, #too tsupid, #drink coffee and work, #same time, #ceo, #expenses

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss reads from a piece of paper in a meeting. The boss says, "The new policy from our CEO bans coffee from cubicles." The boss says, "Because he says, "It causes a distraction" and can "mess up desks." Dilbert says, "How did..." Alice says, "Hold it Dilbert." Wally says, "It's Alice's turn." Alice says, "You get the next easy one." Wally says, "Make us proud." Alice says, "Ahem, ahem" Alice says, "How did he become ceo..." Alice stands and says, "...if he's too stupid to drink coffee and work at the same time?" The boss says, "Our CEO also discussed unnecessary expenses." Wally says, to Dilbert, "Lucky!" Dilbert says, "Ahem."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #statistical analysis, #efforts and rewards, #sea of randomness, #devoid of purpose, #lactation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.