Useless Blob Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
126 Results for Useless Blob
View 31 - 40 results for useless blob comic strips. Discover the best "Useless Blob" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 14,
2004
Tags highly prodcutive, useless guy, employee abseteeism, stats, analysis, disk storage, science
Transcript
The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Monday January 17,
2005
Tags discontinued chips, crazy glare, useless
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."
Monday April 25,
2005
Tags evil director, expect raises, bad ratings, reflect poorly, ability to motivate, useless people, feel bad
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."
Tuesday December 20,
2005
Tags intermediate species, hominid, oyster, light sensitive blob, serious pearl
Transcript
"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."
Friday December 14,
2012
Tags meetings, work ethic, to do list, useless meeting, busy work, power point slides, productivity today
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's see what's on my "to do" list for today. Useless meeting... busywork... make misleading PowerPoint slides... and another useless meeting. Dogbert: How was your productivity today? Dilbert: I know you're mocking me.
Friday December 28,
2012
Tags anger, Games, aggressive recently, testosterone, trivia contest, useless worm
Transcript
Dilbert: I've been aggressive recently. Wally: I haven't noticed. Dilbert: I think my testosterone is all jacked up because I won the company's online trivia contest. Not get out of my way, useless worm. Wally: Okay, I'm starting to see it.
Wednesday June 04,
2008
Tags class, less useless, carry coffee cups, work faster, two hands
Transcript
Wally says, "I took a class to learn how to be less useless." Wally says, "Now I carry twice as many coffee cups wherever I go." Carol says, "Does that make you work faster?" Wally says, "I only have two hands."
Saturday January 16,
2010
Tags lunch, eating, golf, weekends, useless, lessons, Sports
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm no longer content to be useless at work." Wally says, "I decided to take up golf so I can be useless on weekends too." Dilbert says, "Are you going to take lessons?" Wally says, "You get to hit the ball more if you don't."
Thursday February 04,
2010
Tags security access, canceled, accident, mistake, scared, fugitive, nervous, invisible, teach, useless, hvac, breathing, cubicle, blend in, secuirty guard
Transcript
The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."
Saturday May 30,
2009
Tags assignment, realization, angry, useless, meaningless, breakdown, screaming, yelling, ignoring
Transcript
The boss says, "Asok, I want to scrub the CPS database." Asok says, "No one uses that data." Asok the intern says, "But you are incapable of admitting error. So now I must dedicate my time to a thoroughly useless task." The boss thinks, "This job got easier when I stopped listening." Asok says, "It's like death, but without the glamour!"