Voting The Customer Comic Strips - Page 4

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220 Results for Voting The Customer

View 31 - 40 results for voting the customer comic strips. Discover the best "Voting The Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #83% spat, #customer satisfaction survey, #the lucky ones, #died of dehydration, #results of survey

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A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer

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MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

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The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #impersonate dead customer, #large purchases, #work, #acting

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The Boss hands a black briefcase to Wally. He says, "You'll impersonate our dead customer and make large purchases from us." Wally looks down at the briefcase and says, "I've never done anything like this before." The Boss replies, "It's called 'work.'" Wally walks away, continuing to hold the briefcase. He asks, "Am I doing it right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #serial number, #pulverizing case, #hammer, #void warranty

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Headline: Customer Service. Dogbert is sitting at his desk, talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Find the serial number by pulverizing the case with a hammer." The man on the other end of the line is holding a hammer above a radio. He asks, "Are you sure this won't void my warranty?" Dogbert replies, "It's not always about you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #parts department, #give parts away, #vicious cycle, #reordering, #brief customer survey, #fill out

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Dilbert is at a parts store. The man behind the counter says, "We don't give out parts anymore." The man continues, "We're trying to end the vicious cycle of reordering." The man then asks, "Would you mind filling out a brief survey of customer satisfaction?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #server job, #abusive customer, #kindness, #tablecloth

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The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert as waiter, #hots on customer, #insults customer, #specials, #rude, #age

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Dilbert is waiting on a table. He says to the customer, "I'll be your server tonight... Whoa, you're beautiful." Dilbert continues, "Would your grandfather mind if I asked you out?" The customer replies, "He's my husband." Dilbert turns to the older man and says, "Moving right along, would you like to hear about our specials?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #sales training, #sell to customer, #dare to be great, #prove worthiness, #beg

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker says, "Never sell to your customer. Make your customer sell to you." The speaker continues, "Our products are only for those who dare to be great! Make the customer explain why he is worthy." Dilbert is meeting with a customer. Dilbert says, "You heard me, Goober. Now beg for our product."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision

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Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."