Weasel Of Layoffs Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for weasel of layoffs comic strips. Discover the best "Weasel Of Layoffs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent

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Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #talk about layoffs, #hostile questions, #reading, #newspapaer, #reeking slime

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Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "We need to have an all- company meeting to talk about the layoffs." Catbert continues, "You might get some hostile questions owing to the fact that they found out about the layoffs by reading the newspaper." The Boss stands at a podium. He says, "No, I've never noticed that I leave a trail of reeking slime wherever I slither."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #odor, #dna, #rodents, #snakes, #weasels, #never mind

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The Boss stands on a stage in front of the employees and says, "I'll take one more question about the layoffs... Yes, you in the back." The Boss continues, "And I'd appreciate it if this question didn't involve my odor, my DNA, or any comparisons to rodents, snakes or weasels." Carol stands up and says, "Nevermind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #perfect world, #eight months, #incompetence multiplier, #lying weasel factor

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Dilbert points to a screen that says, 'Schedule 8 Months." Dilbert says, "In a perfect world, the project would take eight months." Dilbert points to another screen and says, "But based on past projects in this company, I applied a 1.5 incompetence multiplier." Dilbert continues, "And then I applied an L.W.F. of 6.3." The Boss asks, "L.W.F?" Alice answers, "Lying Weasel Factor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #vacant offices, #layoffs, #nice office, #actual door

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "We sure have a lot of vacant offices since the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "I wouldn't mind having a nice office with an actual door. Why don't you let me have one?" The Boss responds, "Okay, take one." Dilbert shakes with anger and exclaims, "STOP TOYING WITH ME!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bankrupt, #company, #sing along, #weasel dance, #business

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #health benefits, #itch, #mood altering, #stinking weasel, #skin rash, #drugs

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #embezzelment, #explain revenue, #layoffs, #sacrificing, #worse than you, #co worker

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Dogbert is standing on Dilbert's desk. Dogbert says, "You can survive the next round of layoffs by sacrificing a co- worker." Dogbert continues, "You must make your boss believe that someone is a worse employee than you." Dilbert is at a meeting. He turns to Ted and says, "Ted, let me explain revenue: it's like your embezzlement, but it's directed at customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil hr dircetor, #layoffs, #improve moral, #making tough deciosn, #feel more optimistic, #your fired

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting behind his desk, an employee is standing before him. Catbert says, "I'm reminding everyone that layoffs can improve morale." Catbert continues, "Layoffs prove that management is capable of making tough decisions to turn things around!" The employee responds, "You're right! I do feel more optimistic now!" Catbert adds, "Secondly, you're fired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

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"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"