Wish Comic Strips - Page 4

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57 Results for Wish

View 31 - 40 results for wish comic strips. Discover the best "Wish" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #take this one, #hige mistake, #security reliability, #xq-7

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Dilbert is talking to a vendor. Pointing to a sheet of paper, Dilbert says, "I'll take this one." The vendor says, "No, no, no. Huge mistake." The vendor says to Dilbert, "You need the security and reliability of the XQ-7." Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll take the XQ-7." The vendor says, "Shoot! I wish my company made that one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #loser magazine, #forgetting, #sounds good, #fame

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The reporter says to Wally, "Your story is perfect for 'Loser Magazine.'" The reporter continues, "It makes me wish I'd written it down because I'm already forgetting...Oops, it's gone." The reporter concludes, "I'll just make up something that sounds good. And I'll use photos of a model. Thanks, Willy." Wally thinks, "I'm famous!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #arguments, #based on definiatoons, #fascist, #wearing pajamas, #wearing top

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Dogbert: "From now on, all of my arguments will be based on definitions that are not in any dictionary." "For example, I could argue that you're a facist because you're wearing pajamas." Dilbert: "I'm only wearing the top." Dogbert: "Man I wish I didn't know that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #habitual liar, #skull, #talking skull, #running marathin, #genie in bottle

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Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #minor success, #chance corporate ruination

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The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2006's comic on:


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"Do you mind if I spout obvious generalities about information?" "If you have too much information, and it's not organized in any useful way, then it can't help you make decisions." "Are you a consultant or mildly retarded?" "I wish I knew."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business shake, #etiquette & ethics, #handshake, #macaroni and cheese, #moist and squishy

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Coworker: Hi, I'm Allen, from Sales. Dilbert: Dilbert. Your handshake feels like a wet sock full of macaroni and cheese. It makes me wish we never met. Coworker: Please let go of my hand. Dilbert: It's moist and squishy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #mentor, #cry ugly

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Boss: Good news, Asok: I have decided to be your mentor. Asok: Waaaa!!!! Why me?? Why me?? I wish I were dead!!! Boss: You cry ugly. I think we need to work on that. Asok: Waaaa!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #present, #software engineer, #give, #program, #product, #box, #hand, #receive, #look, #Features, #criticize, #depressed, #first copy

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."