Without Break Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert and Wally sit with Asok the Intern at the break room table eating lunch. Asok says, "I'm thinking about growing a unibrow." Dilbert, Wally and Asok sit quietly for a moment. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should rethink our ban on work-related conversation during lunch." Asok says, "Please."
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We've had a rash of thefts. Be on the lookout for anyone who acts suspicious." Wally and Dilbert turn and face a coworker who says, "Can we cut this meeting short? The posters in the break room got me all motivated!" Dilbert and Wally watch as the coworker is escorted out of the meeting by the police. He screams, "Then why are they there?!!"
At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."
Tina asks The Boss, "What's our current severance package?" The Boss answers, "I transfer you to a bad job and you quit without giving notice." Tina says, "I hate your package." The Boss replies, "I hear that a lot."
Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."
wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."
The Boss: Kudos to Ted for his suggestion to put motion sensors on the lights in the break room. Dilbert: Hold it! I calculate that the energy savings are offset by the lost productivity of the meeting. The Boss: We have to burn the plaque for heat just to break even.
The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"