Work Well Comic Strips - Page 4
1000 Results for Work Well
View 31 - 40 results for work well comic strips. Discover the best "Work Well" comics from Dilbert.com.
Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"
Ratbert: Wally is in the men's room. I've accepted a position as his seat filler. This is the proudest day of my life. I never ingrained that my career would work out so well, I want to scream to the world " look at name now" allyL false alarm. you're fired.
Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?
Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."
"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I'm grossly underpaid. I want a raise." The Boss replies, "Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert." Dilbert responds, " What? What? What?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "People don't work here for money." The Boss continues in an enthused voice. "They work here for the challenge!" Dilbert answers, "If challenges are more valuable than money..." Dilbert continues, "Why don't you give me your money and I'll give you my challenges." After a moment of silence, Dilbert says "Well?" The Boss thinks to himself, "I must kill him before he infects the others."
Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Wally: Studies show that well-rested people are more productive. Should I go take a nap or should I ignore science like some sort of pointy-haired baboon? I like to synchronize my questions to his banana-eating.
Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"
Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."