Workplace Injuries Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

42 Results for Workplace Injuries

View 31 - 40 results for workplace injuries comic strips. Discover the best "Workplace Injuries" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work place violence, #prevention training, #violent emplyees, #identify, #beards, #creepy, #ineffective males, #widely disprected

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to the group, "Welcome to workplace violence prevention training." Tina continues, "How can we identify potentially violent employees?" Wally raises his hand excitedly yelling, "Ooh! Ooh!" Tina says, "Wally?" Wally answers, "Do they have beards?" Tina replies, "Um...no. That was a stupid answer." Tina says, "Violent employees are usually creepy, inefficiently males who are widely disrespected." Dilbert raises his hand and asks Tina, "May I change seats?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #discussion, #deliberating, #firing, #layoffs, #downsizing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Do you want to lay off the highly skilled, whiny jerk who is toxic to the workplace or?" Catbert says, "?The pleasant but incompetent guy who will lead us to ruination?" Catbert says, "This got harder after we fired all of the unskilled, whiny jerks." The boss says, "Which one is uglier?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drunken lemurs, #have talent, #busy, #fixing problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banned, #cell phones with cae, #copied, #digital form, #emailed anywhere, #evil director, #excellent idea, #new cell ohone, #rendered useless, #scanned, #scrap book

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #ignored, #avoidance, #avoid conversation, #co worker, #six months

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #wounds & injuries, #black eye, #blanket, #billon dollar, #tech decsions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How'd you bet the black eye? Boss: I was pulling up my blanket in bed. My hand slipped and I punched myself in the face. Dilbert: Okay, let's make some billion-dollar technology decisions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

Evil Orc

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

No Path To Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proof, #guilt, #exoneration, #accusation, #negative

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.