Writing Materials Comic Strips - Page 4
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141 Results for Writing Materials
View 31 - 40 results for writing materials comic strips. Discover the best "Writing Materials" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 26,
2007
Tags agile programming, cpmplain, training, write code, no more planning, no more documentation, just start writing
Transcript
The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."
Wednesday November 28,
2007
Tags tech writer, stack of papers, speed of writing, breakthrough, realize accuracy, optional, micromanage, errors
Transcript
Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"
Sunday November 23,
2003
Tags job applaicants, new batch, 500 qualified people, who wants job, pummel each applicat, very soft itmes, harder materials, sugar doughnut, their attitudes, upbeat
Transcript
CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"
Sunday October 27,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), computer programmers, code, writing code, conspiracy theories
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?
Sunday March 08,
2015
Tags catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet
Transcript
Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!
Tuesday July 21,
2020
Carol's Hate Jealousy
Tags office workers, pandemic, business, anger, writing, novel, write, ambitious, intense, hate, jealously, encouragement, die, covid, lane
Transcript
dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!
Saturday November 14,
2020
Angry Tech Writers
Tags anger, business, exercise, technology, writing, tech writer, underpaid, coffee, hate
Transcript
dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.
Thursday March 24,
2011
Tags competition (psychology), meetings, test script, prodcut
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."
Tuesday March 29,
2011
Tags fake press relases, new green technology, scientist, 2040 power home, refrigerator door, science
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"
Friday April 08,
2011
Tags cartoonists, ventriloquism, writing, hand puppet, data overload, ridiculous, poorly written story, case closed
Transcript
Police says, "We have a report of a pointy-haired boss being stunned by data overload, stuffed, and used as a hand puppet." Alice says, "That's ridiculous. It sounds like the plot of a poorly written story arc." Police says, "It sounds poorly drawn too." Alice says, "Case closed, right?"

