Years Of Training Comic Strips - Page 4
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389 Results for Years Of Training
View 31 - 40 results for years of training comic strips. Discover the best "Years Of Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 05,
1994
Tags #technical degree, #obsolete, #5 years, #doohickey
Transcript
Dogbert: "According to this, a technical degree becomes obsolete in five years." Dilbert: "Do you mind? I'm trying to get some work done on the...uh..." Dogbert: "Uh-oh." Dilbert: "Doohickey."
Monday April 04,
1994
Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps
Transcript
Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."
Tuesday May 31,
1994
Tags #sexist comments, #sensitivity training, #midol, #period, #Women, #chicks, #shopping, #hits boss, #crying
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, I'm sending you to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Alice doesn't have to go because chicks are born already knowing this stuff. It's as natural as shopping and crying." Dilbert: "Can I get a 'Midol' for either one of you?" "Whump whump whump"
Wednesday June 01,
1994
Tags #diveristy, #sensitivity training, #seek better understanding, #dumpy white guy section
Transcript
"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."
Thursday June 02,
1994
Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education
Transcript
Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.
Saturday July 09,
1994
Tags #dogumentray, #engineer at work, #director dog, #directing dilbert, #jumps into action, #focus, #moved mouse, #screen saver, #deactivated
Transcript
"As my dogumentary begins, we see the engineer hard at work." "Suddenly, he leaps into action! Years of training and experience come into focus!" "The screen saver has been deactivated. But doubt sets in...was there a better way?" "I should have moved the mouse."
Monday October 10,
1994
Tags #sales, #two years, #sudden surge, #business case apporved, #get promoted, #accountability, #business
Transcript
Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.
Saturday October 22,
1994
Tags #computer, #academy award winner, #next years award, #best actor, #technology
Transcript
"To configure the software, enter the name of next year's academy award winner for best actor." "Please wait."
Thursday February 23,
1995
Tags #perfromance appraisel, #four years, #starting documentation, #fire me later, #24 hours aday, #motivational
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, I'm almost done with your performance appraisal." Alice looks horrified and gasps. Alice turns her chair to face the Boss and says, "I haven't had an appraisal in four years. You must be starting a documentation trail so you can fire me later." Alice types wildly and yells, "I'LL WORK 24 HOURS A DAY!!" The Boss thinks, "That was way more motivational than I'd hoped."
Friday February 24,
1995
Tags #performance review, #years of rejection, #general disdain, #simian, #perfromance
Transcript
Alice tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'm terrified about my performance review tomorrow." Alice continues, "Men have it easier. You've been conditioned by years of rejection and general disdain." Wally responds, "We're lucky that way." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document to a male worker sitting across from him. The Boss says, "Overall, I rated your performance as 'simian.'" The worker responds, "Thanks!"