Search Results for "pay check"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

Thank you for voting.
Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Ted Never Got The File

Thank you for voting.
Ted Never Got The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?

Do Not Talk To Ted

Thank you for voting.
Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

Thank you for voting.
Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

Network Is Slow

Thank you for voting.
Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

Be Like Entrpreneurs

Thank you for voting.
Be Like Entrpreneurs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #control, #entrepreneur, #risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to disrupt our entire industry. And we need to move quickly. But check with me before you do anything. I want you to think like entrepreneurs, but not like the brave ones. People: Can do.

Just What She Thought

Thank you for voting.
Just What She Thought - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #technology, #conversation, #social interaction, #antisocial

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.

Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.

Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #hr, #funeral, #time off, #bereavement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #big business, #competition, #benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.