Employee Eats Comic Strips - Page 40

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View 391 - 400 results for employee eats comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Eats" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #bragging, #education, #ridiculous, #doubting, #annoyed

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Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #spreadsheet, #yelling, #pain, #bored, #ridiculous

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The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #witch, #new employee, #spreadsheet, #decision, #comparing, #angry, #offended

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The MBA verses the crazy old witch The boss says, "I don't know who to believe." The boss says, "Spreadsheets don't lie, but neither does bat excrement." The boss says, "Remind me again who ruined the economy. Was it witches?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

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Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruel, #employee, #co-worker, #complaining, #annoyed, #angry

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The boss says, "I hired an arrogant guy with a huge forehead. He's on your project." Dilbert says, "Great. Everything this guy says will seem more annoying than usual because of his huge forehead!" Man says, "I keep a wine glass with me at all times. I'm a foodie." Dilbert says, "Case in point!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous

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The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealing, #talking, #falling, #teamwork, #quick, #stunned, #shocked, #surprised, #economy

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The boss says, "Employee theft is on the rise because of the economy." Foop! Foop! The boss says, "They finally figured out how to work as a team."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #ridicule, #joking, #angry, #hiring, #downsizing, #economy

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The Boss says, "Gabe was downsized when his last employer had financial troubles. I was lucky to hire him." Dilbert says, "Because they always downsize their best employees first?" Dilbert says, "Sorry. I didn't mean to put it in context."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #idea, #ridicule, #contradiction, #misunderstood, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "We need more of what the management experts call 'Employee engagement.'" The boss says, "I don't know the details, but it has something to do with you idiots working harder for the same pay." Dilbert says, "Is anything different on your end?" The boss says, "I think I'm supposed to be happier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminate bonuses, #savings used, #fun loving executives, #wear festive costumes, #sound of no money, #ceo's yacht, #whale oil, #bring harpoon, #happy about underpay

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The Boss says, "Our CEO decided to eliminated employee bonuses." The Boss says, "The savings will be used to produce an in-house movie to inspire you." Dilbert says, "Inspire us to do what?" The Boss says, "For starters, we'd like you to be happy about being underpaid." The Boss says, "Our fun-loving executives will wear festive costumes and sing about the virtues of poverty." The Boss says, "The movie is called 'The Sounds of No Money.'" The Boss says, "The premiere is on our CEO's yacht. He wants all of you to be there." Asok says, "We're invited to his yacht?" The Boss says, "The yacht runs on whale oil, so bring a harpoon."