Job Comic Strips - Page 40
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936 Results for Job
View 391 - 400 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 07,
1992
Tags ratbert, product, testing, doc, cosmetics, dangerous, assignment, hate
Transcript
Ratbert sits on a lab bench and asks a man in a lab coat, "What product are we testing today, Doc?" The doctor replies, "We'll be testing the safety of cosmetics. This will be your most dangerous assignment." Ratbert walks outdoors wearing eye makeup and blush. People yell, "Hey baby!!" and "Whoa!! Whoa!!" Ratbert thinks, "Sometimes I hate this job."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday November 09,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Wally, floyd, question, co-workers, chewed, clothes, synthetic, shock, healthy, eat
Transcript
Dilbert asks Wally, "What happened to you?" Wally's clothing is torn and tattered. Wally replies, "I asked Floyd a question." Wally continues, "Floyd hates his job, so he takes it out on co-workers. He almost chewed my clothes off." Dilbert asks, "How'd you stop him?" Wally replies, "He went into synthetic shock; it's not healthy to eat too much of this stuff."
Thursday November 19,
1992
Tags Dilbert, elbonians, leader, rebel, diplomat, peace, mission, rock, pig, varnish, clams, break
Transcript
An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."
Friday December 04,
1992
Tags Dogbert, earth, taxes, press conference, reporter, corrupt, morally, supreme ruler
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a podium during a press conference. A reporter asks, "Now that you're the Supreme Ruler of Earth, will you become morally corrupt?" Dogbert replies, "Yes, that's my plan. It's really the only way to enjoy a job like this." Dogbert continues, "And of course I'll be raising taxes just to see the expressions on your faces." The reporters look angry.
Tuesday December 08,
1992
Tags humor, Dilbert, the boss, tension, engineers, lightbulb, appraisal
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."
Wednesday February 17,
1993
Tags ted, the boss, typo, budget, spreadsheet, pay, work, happiest, day, life
Transcript
An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."
Thursday July 01,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, patent, budget, raise
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."
Thursday August 12,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, zimbu, creativity, test, humor, barrel, monkey, advantage, guillibility
Transcript
Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.
Friday August 13,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, engineering, banana, flea, hotel, zimbu, management, track, victory
Transcript
The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Thursday August 19,
1993
Tags Dogbert, the boss, job security, psychic
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."


