Own Reward Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

403 Results for Own Reward

View 391 - 400 results for own reward comic strips. Discover the best "Own Reward" comics from Dilbert.com.

Leadership Conference In Maui

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

Curse Of Competence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

Attending A Funeral

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attending A Funeral - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #time off, #funeral, #sick, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.

Searching On A Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Ted Talks Creates A God

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.

Scooch Over

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scooch Over - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business people, #destiny, #no, #people, #ruler, #sarcasm, #superpower

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert talking to dogbert on couch dilbert: i've been saying "no" to people all week, and nothing bad happened to me. why did i never know about this superpower? now i am the ruler of my own destiny! scooch over. dogbert: no.

Artificial Dumbness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Artificial Dumbness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.