Read Book Online Comic Strips - Page 40

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399 Results for Read Book Online

View 391 - 399 results for read book online comic strips. Discover the best "Read Book Online" comics from Dilbert.com.

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

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Tina Enters Coma

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Tina Enters Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read

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tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

Mind Reading

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Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading

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court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Selling Private Data

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Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, management, cloud, data, people, private, information, laugh, market, sell, email, friend

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dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Factories No Buyers

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Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

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Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

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Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attractive, contract, covid-19, dating, eyes, goodnight, kiss, lawyers, mask, masked, negotiations, office workers, single, technology

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carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Read The Article

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Read The Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, article, feedback, time, waste, thoughts

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co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.