Wally Comic Strips - Page 40
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1000 Results for Wally
View 391 - 400 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 22,
1996
Tags new compensation, bonuses paid, top ten percent, resigned bitter disgust, get better jobs
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company announced a new compensation plan today. Bonuses will be paid only to the top ten percent of the employees." The Boss continues, "In related news, 89% of the employees resigned in bitter disgust. The top ten percent also left, realizing they could get better jobs elsewhere." The Boss concludes, "This could have an impact on those of you who remain." Wally asks, "We get the bonuses?"
Thursday January 25,
1996
Tags troublesome customers, service costs, eliminated
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points at Dogbert who is growling and says, "I've asked Dogbert to get rid of our most troublesome customers." Dogbert says, "Ten percent of your customers account for ninety percent of your service costs. They must be eliminated." Alice asks, "Is that the same group of customers who actually USE our product?" Dogbert replies, "Plus the ones who were injured unpacking it."
Friday January 26,
1996
Tags reduced service costs, technical support, unlisted phone number, customer email, freinds, don't have freinds
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a conference table next to a laptop and an overhead projector. He says to the Boss, Alice and Wally, "I've reduced your service costs by giving the technical-support group an unlisted phone number." Dogbert continues, "And a flaw in your product disables the customer's e-mail; they can't even write to you for help!" The Boss asks, "What if they ask a friend to e-mail us?" Alice responds, "People who use our product don't have friends." Wally asks, "Really? I use it."
Monday January 29,
1996
Tags air traffic control, systems, blue hound bus lines, won bid
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, Dilbert and Wally, "We won the bid to rebuild our nation's air traffic control systems." Dilbert, Alice and Wally throw their arms up in celebration. Alice yells, "Yippeee!!!" Dilbert yells, "Yes!!" Wally yells, "To the phones!" The Boss walks away thinking, "They don't usually get that excited." Inside his cubicle, Wally says into the phone, "Buy a thousand shares of 'Bluehound Bus Lines.'"
Tuesday January 30,
1996
Tags dogbert consulting comapny, lead project, bright enough, bad attitudes, no apparent reason, introduce ourselves, chummy with locals
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."
Wednesday January 31,
1996
Tags critical code, air traffic control, gifted programmer, payroll system, dont fly, pay day
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "Wally writes the critical code for our nation's new air traffic control system. The crowd is silent." Wally thinks, "Suddenly the gifted programmer employs a rarely seen strategy of 'code reuse.' The crowd goes wild." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit a table eating lunch. Dilbert asks Wally, "So you used code from the payroll system?" Wally replies, "Here's a tip: don't fly on pay day."
Friday February 02,
1996
Tags help shipping dept, fiscal year, no inventory
Transcript
The Boss, Alice and Dilbert stand next to the coffee machine. The Boss says, "I need everybody to help in the shipping department today." The Boss continues, "Every product that ships before the end of the month gets counted as revenue for the fiscal year. Unfortunately, we don't have inventory." Dilbert, Alice and Wally each have an open box in front of them. The Boss continues, "So we'll ship whatever is lying around, book it as revenue and sort it out later." Wally reaches into his mouth and says, "This one's getting gum."
Saturday February 03,
1996
Tags first email, message, how to use email, forgot watch, change jobs
Transcript
Dilbert leans out his cubicle door and yells, "Hey, Wally! The Boss sent his first e-mail message!" Dilbert says to Wally who stands behind him, "And you said he wasn't bright enough to figure out how to use e-mail!" Wally asks, "What's his message?" Dilbert reads the message, "I forgot my watch. Does anybody know what time it is?" Wally says, "Time to change jobs."
Monday February 05,
1996
Tags project delays, piece of deadwood, contributor, waiting for information
Transcript
Dogbert, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I have discovered the cause of your project delays." Dogbert continues, "Somebody in this room is a piece of deadwood pretending to be a contributor!" Dogbert points his tail at a piece of wood in a dress and shouts, "It is you!" The deadwood says, "Hey, I made some calls and I'm waiting for information!"
Friday February 09,
1996
Tags move project, due date, reach objective, perfromance
Transcript
Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Wally, I've decided to move your project due date up a month." Wally responds angrily, "Every time it looks like I'll reach an objective, you move it! What does this prove about my performance?" The Boss answers, "It proves I'm better at setting objectives than you are at achieving them."

