Called Resources Comic Strips - Page 40
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467 Results for Called Resources
View 391 - 400 results for called resources comic strips. Discover the best "Called Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags #injury, #sitting, #human resources, #complaint, #stress, #hurt, #health, #business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Saturday November 21,
2015
Asok Meets Dick
Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology
Transcript
Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.
Tuesday December 01,
2015
Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code
Tags #singularity, #machines, #robot, #technology, #control, #power, #intelligence
Transcript
Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?
Sunday January 10,
2016
Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system
Transcript
Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.
Monday January 25,
2016
Doubling Percieved Lifespan
Wednesday April 06,
2016
Ted Has A Ravine Option
Tags #cruelty, #empathy, #hr, #human resources, #mean, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.
Friday April 22,
2016
Elbonian Messenger
Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage
Transcript
Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.
Saturday April 30,
2016
Dilbert Is Antisocial
Tags #antisocial, #misanthropy, #introvert, #communication, #relationships
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.
Sunday May 08,
2016
Tags #logic, #false logic, #imagination, #managers, #review, #performance
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.
Wednesday May 11,
2016
Company Policy About Dating
Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.