Company Comic Strips - Page 40
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882 Results for Company
View 391 - 400 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 24,
2003
Tags assistant, company politics, pretend, actual work
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I have an assignment for you that has no value whatsoever to the company." The Boss continues, "For reasons of company politics, I need to pretend I'm doing something in that area." Wally approaches Dilbert and says, "So, you're doing actual work. What's that all about?"
Friday March 14,
2003
Tags just in time, inventory, strategy, deepest sympathy, sharp stabbing pain, promises
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a client. The client says, "My company is moving to a 'Just in Time' inventory strategy. You'll deliver when we need it." Dilbert responds, "So.. your success depends on my company doing what it promises? You have my deepest sympathy." The client points to his own chest and says, "I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest." Dilbert replies, "And so it begins."
Thursday March 27,
2003
Tags actively isleads, hypocrite, marketing, table, talk to furniture, tell people, you mislead cutsomers, business
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."
Sunday April 13,
2003
Tags hard day, meeting with ceo, billion dollar comapny, free stock, cash fow, revenue, disaster events, tragic evenets, slpping, fear induced meeting
Transcript
Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.
Sunday May 11,
2003
Tags eye contact, unpackageable, generous severence, volunteers, retired bliss, cruel twist fate, keep job, organic vessel, self pity, fishing, Sports
Transcript
Asok and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert warns, "Uh-oh... don't make eye contact with that guy." Asok asks, "Why not?" Dilbert explains, "Ernie is unpackageable." Dilbert continues, "Last year, the company offered a generous severance package to people who volunteered to leave." Dilbert continues, "Ernie volunteered. He imagined a life of retired bliss outside this company." Dilbert continues, "But too many people volunteered. In a cruel twist of fate, Ernie was forced to keep his job." Dilbert continues, "Now he's nothing but an organic vessel for transporting self- pity." Ernie runs up to Asok and Dilbert and cries, "I could have been fishing!!! Waaa!!!" Alice, Asok, and Dilbert are sitting together. Asok's hair is standing straight up and he still has a panicked expression on his face. Alice asks, "You looked?" Dilbert responds, "I tried to warn him."
Sunday May 18,
2003
Tags evil director, human resources, fired, unflattering comments, transferring new job, living for weekend, business
Transcript
Headline: Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert sits behind a desk and says, "Hello, head-count." The employee asks, "Am I fired?" Catbert responds, "No, no, no..." Catbert says, "I'd never fire you for making unflattering comments to the press about the company." The employee responds, "Really? Everyone said you're evil." Catbert responds, "Heh, heh, thank you." He pauses and then continues, "But all I'm doing is transferring you to a new job." The employee says, "Gee, that doesn't sound bad." He pauses and then asks, "What is it?" Catbert says, "Our new assembly line is seven inches too low. Your job is to fix it." The employee's head is clamped in a machine. A factory worker is using his legs as a lever with which to operate the machine. The employee thinks, "I'm living for the weekend."
Friday May 23,
2003
Tags plant watering service, less expensive one, plastic plants
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."
Saturday June 07,
2003
Tags new product revenue, future, slashed bidget, development budget, describe future, doomed
Transcript
The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"
Monday June 23,
2003
Tags value of merger, large number, marketing department, frooglepoopillion
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"
Friday June 27,
2003
Tags record loss, press release, ceo stepped down, 100 million, tenure, shareholders, bought stock
Transcript
Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"


