Fast Guy In Tights Comic Strips - Page 40

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452 Results for Fast Guy In Tights

View 391 - 400 results for fast guy in tights comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Guy In Tights" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #great team, #great results, #inexperienced intern, #useless guy, #corpse, #exoskeleton, #conflicts with plan

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Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drinking, #hiring, #personality tests, #sales, #sales personnel, #sociopaths, #storytelling skills, #morgue, #selfie, #dead guy, #super drunk, #hired, #sales person, #new hire, #business

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Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experience, #inexperience, #panic, #viable prodcut, #feature list, #deck, #first day, #no respect, #inexperienced guy

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Inexperienced Guy. Boss: Put together a deck showing the minimum viable product feature list. Employee: What is a deck? What is a minimum viable product? How would I know what the features are? Boss: I have no respect for people who ask questions. Employee: First day, not good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoy, #annoyance, #corpse, #escalade, #experience, #inexperience, #murder, #premeditated murder, #prototype, #scientific, #strangle, #boss

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Inexperienced Guy. Coworker: Can you answer some questions about our product prototype? Alice: No, but I would be happy to strangle you with your own lanyard and put your corpse in my boss' Escalade to frame him for the crime. Coworker: That scenario is alarmingly specific. Alice: For this sort of thing, premeditated is the way to go.

Dogbert The Third Ceo

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Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business tactics, #ceos, #executives, #co ceo, #third ceo, #tiebreaker, #fired, #disagreement, #new guy

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CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

Engineers Built Everything That Matters

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Engineers Built Everything That Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money

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The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #dating, #low standards, #Men, #market value, #single guy, #low bar, #tall, #employed, #height, #relationships

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Tube Clothing Or Rug

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Tube Clothing Or Rug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped

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Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.

Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

13 Percent Employees Engaged

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13 Percent Employees Engaged - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #employees, #engagement, #motivation, #global survey, #engaged at work, #business

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Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.