Fired Everyone Comic Strips - Page 40

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411 Results for Fired Everyone

View 391 - 400 results for fired everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Fired Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Workflow Training

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Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new

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boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

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Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #schedule, #thursday, #berate

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boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care

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wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Poison Pill

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Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner

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dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Marketing Complains

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Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

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boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Before Or After Firing

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Before Or After Firing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #request, #fire

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dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.

Work Harder Than Others

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Work Harder Than Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #business, #employees, #managers, #work, #success

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boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.

Impostor Syndrome

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Impostor Syndrome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend

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boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.

Rot From The Inside

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Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #ethic, #abysmal, #loan, #project, #hate, #rot, #idea, #raise

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boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?