Help! Help! Comic Strips - Page 40
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424 Results for Help! Help!
View 391 - 400 results for help! help! comic strips. Discover the best "Help! Help!" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 06,
2019
Dilbert Hires A Narrator
Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, narrator
Transcript
dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Tuesday June 04,
2019
Dogbert's Service Human
Tags business, magazines, office, office workers, service, ipad
Transcript
dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?
Saturday June 08,
2019
Ted And The Tangle Of Cords
Tags business, coffee, desk, office, office workers, cables, stapler
Transcript
the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.
Friday June 14,
2019
Evil Marketing
Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.
Friday June 21,
2019
Lawyers Take Years
Tags business, lawyers, office, agreement, years
Transcript
team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.
Sunday June 30,
2019
Beg And Pay Store
Tags business, office, buying, selling, begging, internet
Transcript
dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!
Wednesday July 24,
2019
Consultant Gets No Help
Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid
Transcript
the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.
Monday September 09,
2019
Scourge Of Teamwork
Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams
Transcript
Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.
Saturday September 21,
2019
Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed
Tags confused, employees, frustration, garbage, help, office workers
Transcript
Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?