Old System Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

435 Results for Old System

View 391 - 400 results for old system comic strips. Discover the best "Old System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Add Feature To Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

How Long For New Feature

Thank you for voting.
How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #legacy, #deception, #engineer, #programmer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Alice And The Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Alice And The Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dedication, #work ethic, #boredom, #overwork, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.

Wally Is Born For The Job

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #system, #laziness, #perfect job, #goals, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #avoiding, #avoidance, #offense

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.

Robot Reincarnates

Thank you for voting.
Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

No Calendar Needed

Thank you for voting.
No Calendar Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #calendar, #excuse, #avoidance

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you have time to check my design? Wally: Let me see. Nope. Man: Did you just check your calendar? Wally: With my system, I don't need a calendar.

Wally's Legacy System Report

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Legacy System Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #laziness, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you like me to tell you what I accomplished this week with our legacy system? Boss: No, because legacy systems are boring and I like to think about new things. Dilbert: I thought we replaced all of our legacy systems. Wally: Keep your thoughts to yourself.