Told Everyone Comic Strips - Page 40
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510 Results for Told Everyone
View 391 - 400 results for told everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Told Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 12,
2017
Tags wages, salary, secret, anger, compensation, money, unfair
Transcript
Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday March 03,
2017
Wally Offended Everyone
Tags offense, offensive, sensitivity, political correctness, politically correct
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.
Saturday March 04,
2017
You Will Get Used To It
Tags coworkers, Politics, disagreement, Opinion, flaw, personality, psychology
Transcript
Boss: I can't assign you to a project team because everyone hates you for your political opinions. Wally: And they don't hate me for being useless in general? Boss: I guess we all got used to that. Wally: You'll get used to the other thing, too. Give it some time.
Sunday April 23,
2017
Tags failure, blame, executives, scapegoat
Transcript
Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.
Wednesday June 07,
2017
Ted Complains About Dilbert
Tags budget, money, funding, creativity, embezzlement, fraud
Transcript
Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.
Wednesday June 14,
2017
Imagine He Is Naked
Tags public speaking, presentation, Advice, nervous, naked, fear
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.
Monday June 19,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos
Tags accusation, hearsay, conjecture, gullible
Transcript
Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.
Wednesday June 21,
2017
Dogbert The Special Counsel
Tags trump, comey, obstruction, russia, collusion
Transcript
Boss: Everyone says you've been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. I've assigned a special counsel to review all of your email and phone logs. Dilbert: I've done nothing wrong. Dogbert: Stop trying to obstruct justice.
Wednesday June 28,
2017
Two Choices For Work Space
Tags office, office workers, cubicle, distraction, work from home
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?
Thursday June 29,
2017
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move
Tags office, office workers, cubicle, popularity, power
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.