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View 391 - 400 results for try to develop personality comic strips. Discover the best "Try To Develop Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters forum, #share knowledge, #across dsiciplines, #insulted chairperson

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Woman says, "Would you like to be part of a masters forum to share knowledge across disciplines?" Dilbert says, "No. The only people who will be there are the ones who don't have anything better to do. I try to avoid people like that." Woman says, "I'm the chairperson." Dilbert says, "I'll get a lot done that day!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business

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The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #international economic integration, #secure a long term supply, #rare earth, #metal, #rare earth metals, #dying, #reincarnating, #20% chance, #born chinese

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The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #managers & supervisors, #government nagging, #rid of waste, #motivational paper weight, #nice going, #avoid licking, #business

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The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

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The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

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Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #developed app, #spare time, #awful thing, #lees hinest, #marketing, #business

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Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

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Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #recessions, #unemployment, #fix your lips, #job satisfaction, #all time low

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Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!