Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Workers

View 391 - 400 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, invention, office workers, robot, technology, logic, conspiracy, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

How Long To Make Ai

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long To Make Ai  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers, engineering, intelligence, office workers, sarcasm, technology, robots, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, complaining, eating, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confused, employees, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

No Raise For Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, work, salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, panic, suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, business, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Fetching Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, engineering, men and women, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.