Annihilates Stupid Part Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

477 Results for Annihilates Stupid Part

View 391 - 400 results for annihilates stupid part comic strips. Discover the best "Annihilates Stupid Part" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ex ceo, #executives, #generous, #negotiated, #severance package, #wages, #robotic flea, #giant flea, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #access, #apprval, #blocked website, #cip, #director of hr, #hostiliy, #mean, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

This website has been blocked by your company. Dilbert: Mordac, I need access to a blocked site for business reasons, Mordac: I can only unblock the site if the director of human resources sends me a written approval. Catbert: I can only make recommendations, Our Cis still has to approve it. Chief Information Officer How dare you bother me with your trivial website problem! Carol back into your hole and think about the career mistake you just made! Dilbert: Can we kip the part where you ask me what I accomplished this week?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #work best, #under pressure, #deadline, #corner stone

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #coffee & tea, #managers & supervisors, #brain scan, #management potential, #warm brown liquid, #speed evolved, #coffee reservoir, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #email, #facts, #link to study, #Right, #science, #scientific study, #winning an argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I got your stupid email with your stupid link to that stupid scientific study. I don't care about your so-called "facts." I know I'm right! Dilbert: Winning an argument never feels like winning.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dairy products, #inventions, #mad scientists, #gay anarchist, #loves football, #string cheese

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard that marketing's optogenic device tweaked some of your preferences. Asok: Yup. Now I'm a gay anarchist who loves football and string cheese. Dilbert: Sounds like a big adjustment. Asok: Well, the cheese part came easily.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #executives, #products decline, #amrketing, #improving, #huge raises, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our products are getting worse every day. But our marketing keeps improving. We're very close to the point where our customers will give us money for no reason. Then we can give ourselves huge raises and do no work at all. CEO: I like everything you said, except the "we" part.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #meat, #thinking, #write ideas, #brainstorming, #lunch meat, #robot, #human, #confuisng

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I asked you to write up the best ideas from our brainstorming session. The top one on your list is "A Robot Made of Lunch Meat." That's basically just a human. Tina: What part of "Best Ideas" is confusing you?