Bow Before Me Comic Strips - Page 40
440 Results for Bow Before Me
View 391 - 400 results for bow before me comic strips. Discover the best "Bow Before Me" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 04, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Share April 11, 2016's comic on:
Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.
Share May 15, 2016's comic on:
Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?
Share June 01, 2016's comic on:
Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.
Share June 23, 2016's comic on:
CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.
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Share July 22, 2016's comic on:
Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.
Share September 02, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.
Share October 16, 2016's comic on:
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
Share October 08, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.