Great Honor Comic Strips - Page 40
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dilbert singing and dancing. boss: you seem way too happy about your job. are you embezzling? dilbert: no, i'm experiencing great morale and high employee engagement, just the way you trained me. boss: that actually works? dilbert: it did until you made a mockery of it just now.
dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.
catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?
boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.
applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.
boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.