Hire Someone Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

442 Results for Hire Someone

View 391 - 400 results for hire someone comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Someone" comics from Dilbert.com.

What The Family Would Think

Thank you for voting.
What The Family Would Think - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #interview, #lying, #deception, #commitment, #honesty, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.

The Entitled Employee

Thank you for voting.
The Entitled Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #millennials, #entitlement, #entitiled, #lazy, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.

Twitter The Video Game

Thank you for voting.
Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #game, #ignorance, #trick, #prank, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

Social Justice Warrior

Thank you for voting.
Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sjw, #hiring, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #sensitivity, #political correcness, #politically correct, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!

Wally Goes To His Man Cave

Thank you for voting.
Wally Goes To His Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #lactation, #man cave, #nursing, #deception, #baby, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I secretly turned our unused lactation room into my man cave. Dilbert: What if someone sees you go in? Tina: You said only once, right? Wally: Once per day.

Wally And The Lactation Room

Thank you for voting.
Wally And The Lactation Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #man cave, #coffee, #trick, #lactation room

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.

Hire Agile Programmers

Thank you for voting.
Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #idea, #criticism, #inventions, #obfuscate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that is my idea for our new product. Are there any ignorant objections? Man: Your idea is totally ridiculous! It's like you're tying to build castles in the sky! Dilbert: Have you heard of Air Force One, the plane used by the president of The United States? That's basically a castle in the sky, and someone built it. Man: Well, if your idea is so good, why hasn't someone already done it? Dilbert: I'm guessing that everyone else had co-workers like you.

Fire The Bottom Ten Percent

Thank you for voting.
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.

Gawful Media Company

Thank you for voting.
Gawful Media Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #merger, #acquisition, #gawker, #morals, #executives, #decision, #information

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The board is proud to announce that we will be acquiring the Gawful Media Company. Dilbert: Are you aware that Gawful is so despicable that a crime bill has their name on it? CEO: Hey, don't blame me. I told the board that someone should Google them.