Holy Week Comic Strips - Page 40
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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.
Wally: Would you like me to tell you what I accomplished this week with our legacy system? Boss: No, because legacy systems are boring and I like to think about new things. Dilbert: I thought we replaced all of our legacy systems. Wally: Keep your thoughts to yourself.
Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?
Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.
Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Dilbert: I didn't accomplish anything this week because I made the mistake of talking to a millennial. It sucked the ambition out of me. Now I'm nothing but an empty husk of pain and pointlessness. Boss: Walk it off. Dilbert: I need a job that pays me for listening to my favorite music.
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.
Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?