Human Chess Board Comic Strips - Page 40

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398 Results for Human Chess Board

View 391 - 398 results for human chess board comic strips. Discover the best "Human Chess Board" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tweaking Variables

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Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

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Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Robot Has A Cyborg

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Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone

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Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Robot Coparents

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Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #marriage, #Parenting, #robot, #shocked, #humans, #rumor

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Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Robot Baby Mama

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Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

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Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Ai That Creates Comics

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Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Toxic Employee

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Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees

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boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Nervous About Presentation

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Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

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Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.