Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 40
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469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 391 - 400 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 23,
2020
Nothing Is Totally Safe
Tags business, health & safety, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, test, reality, blame, face mask
Transcript
boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.
Sunday November 15,
2020
Cushion In Schedule
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate
Transcript
dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.
Tuesday October 27,
2020
Credit Goes To Boss
Tags anger, business, culture, idea, managers & supervisors, ownership, report, technology
Transcript
boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!
Monday November 02,
2020
Boss Ear Piece
Tags answers, blockchain, business, ear piece, evil, ignorance, managers & supervisors, smart, technology
Transcript
boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.
Tuesday November 03,
2020
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, blockchain, byte, code, consensus, bluff
Transcript
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.
Monday November 09,
2020
No Performance Reviews
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, Political, social, opinions, ranking, acceptable
Transcript
boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Monday November 16,
2020
Real Men Multitask
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, software, software design, concentrate, multitask, distraction, kill, error
Transcript
boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.
Thursday November 26,
2020
Online Class Muted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots
Transcript
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
Friday November 27,
2020
Boss Hires Stalker
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, technology, working, remote, stalker, window, homes
Transcript
boss on video conference with dilbert and wally. boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely. dilbert sitting in arm chair listening boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day. wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt: sorry. that's on me.


