Own Reward Comic Strips - Page 40

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399 Results for Own Reward

View 391 - 399 results for own reward comic strips. Discover the best "Own Reward" comics from Dilbert.com.

Leadership Conference In Maui

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Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #vacations

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Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

Curse Of Competence

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Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending

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Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

Attending A Funeral

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Attending A Funeral - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #time off, #funeral, #sick, #unsympathetic

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carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Pre Meeting

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Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

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boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Ted Talks Creates A God

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Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

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new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

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Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

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dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

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Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

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Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.

Scooch Over

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Scooch Over - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #business people, #destiny, #no, #people, #ruler, #sarcasm, #superpower

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dilbert talking to dogbert on couch dilbert: i've been saying "no" to people all week, and nothing bad happened to me. why did i never know about this superpower? now i am the ruler of my own destiny! scooch over. dogbert: no.