Productivity Today Comic Strips - Page 40

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438 Results for Productivity Today

View 391 - 400 results for productivity today comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Today" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

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Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #success, #failure, #gloating, #start-up

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Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Duplicating Effort

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Duplicating Effort - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #productivity, #absent mindedness, #forgetful, #duplicate

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Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.

The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura

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The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #horoscope, #Astrology, #prediction, #fortune, #nonsense

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Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.

Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason

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Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #ego, #conceited, #productivity

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Wally: My co-workers don't take me seriously because I'm so good looking. And I think they hate me for my brilliant mind. All I know is that they hate me. So if I seem unproductive, it's because of my beauty and brilliance.

Network Is Slow

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Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology

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Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

Boss Gets A Nickname

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Boss Gets A Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #nickname, #obliviousness, #stephen hawking, #black holes, #space, #science

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Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.

Alice Takes On More Work

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Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics

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Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul

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Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #conscience, #technology, #morals, #morality, #guidance, #Religion

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Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.

Programming Environment

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Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

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Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.